Diary of a spiritual journey 8

November 24, 2003

Sri Dhama Mayapura, This abode is overflowing with Lord Caitanya's mercy. Everything is emanating that. I met some nice life members from Calcutta a few days ago, and I exchanged a few words with them on the road. First I said how Mayapur is such a nice place away from the congested city of Calcutta. They informed me that that was not the reason why they were coming to Mayapura, they were coming because here there was "prana", the energy of the Lord. Lord Caitanya had allowed them to catch a glimpse of His transcendental energy. They are devotees, who knows who they were?

I am here to rest, something I don't like, but it is necessary and where is a better place to do it than here, and it works my health is improving. In one sense I would rather be actively glorifying Krsna in the association of so many devotees that are dear to me in different corners of the world. But it is Krsna's plan that I take time to rejuvenate the body. Of course one can turn any disadvantage around and apply it to our advantage. It is an advantage to be alone in a peacefyul situation, with no people taking away from one's time and energy. Now I can study! I have all I need the books,the Holy Name, the computer for research, a harmonium for bhajana, a nice place to stay, and Ambarish from Estonia is taking care of me really well. Everything is favorable for deep meditation on Krsna. Now I have to take advantage.

I guess my present program is an experiment and maybe I will do something like this every year. Different devotees may visit me here, instead of me visiting them. After all I came from staying many years in the Holy Dhamas, so this is my home. So please come and visit.

Wherever in the world we are living in impious conditions, we have to struggle, first of all just to survive materially and then to survive spiritually. Here in the Dhamas everything is simplified and we can easily increase our chanting and reading.

It is mentioned in the Caitanya Caritamrta that to be empowered in devotional service means to get the essence of Krsna's pleasure potency and of His knowledge potency. This is advancement in spiritual life one becomes blissful and fixed in transcendental knowledge and therefore free from the illusory energy. The associates of Lord Caitanya were very effulgent in their presence a great brahmana scholar looked like a glowworm. In Vrndavana once when Krsna was asleep in the forest Srimati Radharani stole His flute from His hand and walked away in to the darkness with the intention to hide it, but the luster of Her face which is more bright than the moon lit up the entire area and she was afraid that she might get caught. She then criticized the creator Lord Brahma for giving Her a body like that.

By being the humble servant of one's spiritual master and by being engaged in hearing and chanting about the glories of Krsna one can gradually become become more and more absorbed in transcendental bliss and naturally one becomes more and more effulgent.

Yet often I receive letters that reveal struggle in spiritual life. That real life is not as beautiful as the philosophy and that nectar is not so easy to find. What can I say to that?

Since when does a vaisnava expect to find nectar in the material world? Is it that our life in the temple is meant to be ideal like the spiritual world? The answer is; not really! The temple has nice features and others that are not so nice, some devotees are very nice and friendly and others not so. Then where is the nectar? The nectar is in our heart, in the hearing and the chanting, and then in our eyes, then we only see nectar in all directions. Anyway it may take a little while, so meanwhile we should should just go on with our struggle and stay pure in spiritual association with 4 regulative principles and sixteen rounds and stay busily engaged in differnt types of devotional service throughout the day.

Enough of this computer, enough of my slow typing and my attempt to stay in touch with you all, I am going back to my books and my bhajan.

Hare Krsna,
Kadamba Kanana Swami